so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
