I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
