I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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