Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
