Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
