my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
