What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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