I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
