im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
from now on my penis is your penis
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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