That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
