On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize