if i can run in heels then i can drive
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
