It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
