Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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