The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Will exercising make me less horny?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
