____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate