I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize