My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?