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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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• (530): View more from California

  Fat chicks shouldn't bartend

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cherish every text you send me

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• 

  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving

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• (714): View more from California

  that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (925): View more from California

  I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

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• (949): View more from California

  I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.

  (949): View more from California

  In a moving vehicle and other people in the car

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• (714): View more from California

  I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..

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