I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
