i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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