some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
