she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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