Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
