I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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