Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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