Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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