Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
