ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
