my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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