Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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