and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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