never play flip cup with pint glasses
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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