Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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