That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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