1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
