she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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