You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
