Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
