whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
