Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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