my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He felt like a one man threesome
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
