I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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