yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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