i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
