yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no you cant smoke seaweed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
