You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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