Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
