I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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