we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
