my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
