you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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