it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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