too bad you live with your parents still
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
