# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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