If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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