It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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