It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
