FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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