We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
