also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize