I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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