Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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