Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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